Merry Christmas everyone!
Are you spending today with people you love, or are you trapped among annoying relatives? I had dinner with my family yesterday, but finally I have 2 days only for myself, to relax and have fun with my hobbies. December has been a wild ride at work, I truly deserve some free time on my own!
Since I decided to give this blog a fresh start, I thought it would be nice talking about my experience with kpop, before I start sharing my personal favorites and my opinions.
I first started listening to kpop in 2010, when I was still a student: it’s been a long time ago, but somehow I don’t feel really different as a person, even if I’m a wife and a decent adult with a job now. Should I be happy or worried about it? I guess having a young mindset is not a bad thing.
The first song that got me into kpop was Super Junior’s Bonamana, I was literally obsessed and I still enjoy listening to it; Sorry Sorry was also amazing, there’s no wonder I became an ELF immediately.
I loved Big Bang, Shinee, TVXQ and 2PM too, they were my favorite groups and I used to talk about them for hours with my online friends (sadly, nobody knew about kpop where I lived); as soon as I got home from school, I turned on my PC to see updates and chat with other fans.
Back in the old times when forum still existed, I even used to write fanfics! It’s kinda embarrassing if I think about it now, but I enjoyed the fandom life a lot, so I have no regrets.
I mostly listened to boy groups, but if I loved 2ne1 too: when I’m the Best was released, I went crazy! Such an amazing song.
My deepest memories come from EXO members’ teasers, which where released daily before their official debut: I had no internet on my smartphone back in the stone age, so I used to sneak into the school PC room just to see which member was showed, I couldn’t wait till I came home in the evening. I was so hyped, I don’t even know how I managed to study and get good grades.
Kpop wasn’t popular back then, so almost no groups came to Europe (now they do often, but apparently still no one cares about Italy), so when VIXX announced a showcase in Milan I was the happiest person ever!! I took the chance to meet in person some of my online friends, which made that event an unforgettable memory.
I wish I could have stayed a student forever, but life got really busy when I started working and I slowly faded away from kpop: in the meanwhile, I discovered otome games and they eventually became my main hobby, which I dedicated most of my free time to.
But I never stopped keeping up with the most important news, as time went by.
When Luhan left EXO, I felt betrayed: he was my favorite member and my 2nd ultimate bias in kpop in general, seeing him leave the group hurt. A lot. I felt like everything about him and kpop was a huge lie and I couldn’t trust idols for a long time.
In 2017, I still remember the shock I felt when I read about Shinee’s Jonghyun’s death: I felt my heart breaking into pieces and I almost cried at work, I had to take a break for a few minutes to recover; after 7 years since I first listened to his voice, I felt like I lost a friend.
So, why did I stop being so involved with the fandom?
The reason is simple: I’m too old and tired to be involved in fanwars.
Even back in the days, most of the fans seemed younger than me (it’s even worse now, obviously) and I didn’t wan’t to spend my free time arguing with teens about who deserves to win on a music show; their level of energy is different from mine, they get upset over everything and I don’t need teen drama in my busy life.
I want kpop to be a peaceful oasis, an hobby that brings me joy and distraction from my daily routine, I don’t want to take it seriously, having to worry about any words I say. That’s why I’m not active in any fandom now, not even on twitter.
I was actually kinda worried about writing my opinions here, but I trust my readers and I’m sure no one will get offended if I don’t like a group or a song: this is just my personal taste after all.
You know I always try to be respectful, if I don’t enjoy something I never say “it sucks”, I just avoid talking about it or I’ll simply say it’s not for me. I’m going to talk about kpop exactly like I did with otome games: if you don’t see me writing about a group or a comeback, it’s probably because I’m not interested. There’s no need to feel offended, I’m just a person sharing her humble personal opinion, having a blog doesn’t make me some kind of influencer.
I felt this was very important to say before I share my kpop awards, since I’m sure everyone will notice immediately the complete lack of girl groups: I like BlackPink, I sometimes enjoy listening to a few popular songs, but I’m not a fan of any girl group. So please, don’t keep asking me why I never talk about them, it’s simply not my taste.
Well, I think I’ve said enough for now; I have plenty of time to come up with nostalgic posts about the past, you know I love sharing those feelings. See you before the year ends with my kpop awards and my 2022 recap! Until then, have a nice Christmas!