My life, my hobbies, my real self

Categoria: my life Page 1 of 4

I’m late, but here’s some kind of blog’s anniversary post!

Hello everyone!

I’m almost embarrassed to write this post actually, for 2 reasons: the first is that last month I promised I would be more active here, but in the end I updated regularly for 2 weeks and then I almost disappeared again; I’m sorry!

But I swear, I wasn’t lazy. Sadly, my father has a serious illness and he was hospitalized for a week, so I went there every day to meet him and I did my best to lift up his mood a bit; now he’s home while he’s waiting to start treatment, so I spend a lot of my time at my parents’ house to keep them company since they can barely go outside.

I guess you understand, while I wasn’t in the mood to write.

But I can’t just spend my days thinking about sad stuff, I also try my best to be positive while distracting myself with my hobbies; that’s how I remembered about my blog anniversary, which I completely forgot about last year. What a pity! I guess my old job was really sucking the life out of me. And so it comes, the main reason while I’m kinda embarrassed of myself: I completely messed up the date!

I have no idea why I was sure I opened this blog on the 5th november 2016, but looking back at my old anniversary posts I realized it was actually on the 2nd… which means I missed it again, this year!

I probably should have checked it out sooner, but I had no doubts! I’m getting old guys, there’s no way I could have made such a mistake in the past.

Anyway, it’s been 7 years already, since I opened this blog to write about otome games: I still remember how it felt when I first started, it was such an exciting journey and I worked really hard to bring some content almost every day… I swear, I miss the old times and the otome community, even if I’m sure it changed a lot.

Since I’ve been unemployed, a little voice in my head has been telling me to get back to this hobby and play some more, at least to complete the games I was almost done with. Yes, I’m talking about Cendrillon Phalika. The good news, is that I actually made some progress, even if it’s very slow, so there’s still hope to see my review here. I can’t see myself going back to being an otome blogger, but you shouldn’t be too surprised, if some kind of review comes up sooner or later.

Even if the old days are not completely gone, I still decided to sell part of my collection: if I ever come back fully to this hobby, I’m sure I won’t replay some of the games which didn’t really leave a great impression on me, that’s why I’m more than willing to sell them to someone who will experience them for the first time and maybe enjoy them more than I did.

If you’re interested in something, you can find them on twitter and also in my previous post!

Lately this blog has mostly become some kind of diary, and I think it’s still better than just stop updating completely. Thanks to everyone who has been reading since the beginning, but also thank you to everyone who comes here from time to time to check if there are some kind of updates.

I can’t promise there will be new otome posts very soon, but I’ll do my best at least to write my usual end of the year personal posts: my 2023 recap, my plans for 2024 and probably my kpop awards.

Well, I guess trying to come up with a plan for the new year while I’m still unemployed and my father’s health makes me too worried to start looking for a new job, doesn’t seem like a good start. But we can still hope at least, right? Life has ups and downs, in the nearly future I’m sure I’ll be able to stand up again.

How I got into a car accident and what I’ve learned from this awful experience

Hello everyone!

Today I’d like to share a recent event that made me reflect a lot about life, since it was kinda traumatic: at the beginning of August, I got into a car accident.

This is actually the second time I experience this awful situation, but compared to the first time this was way worse: we were on a queue, since a car in front of us stopped abruptly to turn into a very little street on the left, which I assume it was the only way to their house; it was unexpected, so my husband and another car had to stop immediately.

Then another car from behind, without realizing what was going on, crashed into us at full speed, (somehow the driver didn’t realize we stopped for a reason, even if there were like 3 cars ahead of us; I assume he was on the phone, or at least he wasn’t paying much attention).

I heard like the sound of a bomb exploding behind my back; if this wasn’t enough, our car was pushed forward, crashing onto the car in front of ours.

It lasted just a few seconds, but I remembers thinking: “again?? I won’t survive this time”.

When it was over, I was scared to open my eyes and look next to me: what if my husband is covered in blood? What if he’s dead?”; these were the thoughts running in my head, as I heard people from the other cars saying stuff like “I can’t get them out of the car, call the ambulance!”.

Gladly, my husband got minor injuries and I was just bruised; but when I got out the car and took a look at it, I realized that we were really lucky, to be able to stand on our legs.

Gladly everyone involved was safe, but our car was completely crashed; when the ambulance came, they found it hard to believe we only got minor injuries, considering how destroyed it was.

We have to buy a new one, since it would more expensive to repair it.

That made me realize something that should be obvious, but I never thought about enough: life could change or even end at any moment; we spend most of our life planning a future that maybe will never come, instead of living the present.

Of course, it’s important to have long-term plans, life goals; but what if your life will end tomorrow, and you just spent your last days working and saving money because you’ll need them when you get old? What if you never reach that age?

When I was working really hard, I remember some of my coworkers telling me they wanted to quit too, but they were afraid of not finding a new job immediately, because “when I’ll get old I will relax, now I need to make money”. True, but… what if you don’t even reach the retirement age?

Of course, I’m not here to say you should live carelessly, as if the world is going to end tomorrow; but still, try to think about it. We don’t realize how precious our time is, until it’s too late.

If your life ends today, are you satisfied with what you accomplished so far?

But most importantly, are you happy?

That’s my cup of tea for today, see you with hopefully funny topics very soon!

Struggling with Korean

Dear friends who are trying to learn a language, how is it going?

Are you excited like you should be, or are you frustrated like me?

I’m joking, I love studying Korean and I’d never get angry over an hobby, but still I’m sure sooner or later you’ve felt the same way. It’s so annoying, when you put daily efforts into something, yet it feels like you aren’t making any progress… it makes you wonder why you are even trying so hard in the first place, since basically every youtube shows is subbed already.

Back in the old times, when otome games got little to none localisations, I had no other choice but learning Japanese, if I wanted to enjoy my hobby to the fullest.

But gladly, Korean companies knows perfectly that the foreign market brings a lot of money, so every show comes out directly with English subs, as soon as it’s released on the official channel of the group; it feels like another world, compared to the old times when I used to listen to Japanese music and watching their music videos on youtube was impossible.

I still don’t get why sharing their work to potential foreign customers could damage in some way a Japanese idol, but that’s a mystery we’ll never solve.

Anyway, I’m done with my 2nd Korean grammar book, which means (as the book’s author states) that I completed all the basics all the language.

How come, I feel like I barely understand some words here and there, when I listen to music or watch reality shows? I guess I lack vocabulary?

Also, I feel like my textbook focuses too much on standard level Korean, basically ignoring the most common words used in informal contexts, like between friends; that’s why I completely lack that kind of knowledge, which is honestly what I mostly want to reach.

As I did a decade ago while studying Japanese, I set a very specific goal to my learning process: I’d like to watch shows without relying completely on subs, being able to grasp their jokes; I’d like to understand songs without having to search for the lyrics, that would be cool; I’d like to sing along without my words sounding like some kind of gibberish.

I guess I’ll try to improve my listening skills a bit, watching youtube videos for beginners, before I start the 3rd grammar book (which I hope will focus more on informal language, finally!).

Anyway, to anyone who is struggling like me, keep it up! We’ll get it there!!

About friendships and changes

Hello everyone, how are you?

I’m keeping my promise to update more often and I admit I’m kinda proud of myself, it reminds me of the good old times when I used to be an active member of the otome community.

Now everything’s changed, but that’s life, isn’t it? I’m still the same person, so maybe some of you will stick with me anyway.

I was watching the 10th anniversary video of a youtuber I’ve been following for years, and while he was talking about all the ups and downs of his career as “influencer”, I realized some of his words hit me hard, even if I was writing my reviews for passion, not as a real job; he said that his favorite hobby at some point became a chore and he was in “anime burnout”, after forcing himself to watch and review every single anime coming out every season. At some point, he decided to switch the content of his channel, even if he feared that no one of his suscribers would keep up with the change; luckily for him, he’s still really popular despite brining a different content.

Even if I can’t say I used to be some kind of “influencer”, still his experience resonated with me and it gave me a little bit of hope, that someone will be happy if I’m still here.

Anyway, it’s been really hot in Italy lately, even if it’s supposed to be almost autumn already… I guess this awful summer doesn’t want to end. Actually, maybe I shouldn’t hate it, even if everything that happened a couple months ago at work was crazy. I’m glad I quit, I don’t have regrets.

The best thing I got from that job is one of my ex coworker, who became my friend and once a week comes to my house, to fangirl over kpop groups with me. Those nights spent fangirling over idols, screaming like crazy teenagers and singing along, truly make me happy.

It’s been a long time since I’ve felt so free to be myself in front of someone who is not my husband; I can’t be completely honest even with my parents, since they would probably give me the weird look. Am I immature? Yes, for sure, I know.

A friendship is always a blessing, but even more for me, since I’m a really introverted person and I find it hard to meet new people and make friends.

If you’re like me, keep in mind that there’s always someone willing to become your friend, if you just try to open up; she’s very extroverted, unlike me, so I just had to win over my fear of being myself among people, for having her naturally trying to click with me. It took me like 3 years, since I hate showing my true self to others (maybe in fear of being hurt? Or judged? I don’t get why I’m like this), but I’m glad I made a move.

I just wanted to share my feelings today, I hope you enjoy this kind of content too!

Goodbye, 2022!

Happy new year everyone, I hope you’re having a great start!

While I’m relaxing at home, I’m taking some time as usual to share my memories and feelings about my 2022, which overall was a good year. Not amazing, but not even bad.

The best part was the moving to my new house: it was extremely tiring, but having my own place feels like I finally accomplished something important as an adult; it comes with huge responsabilities, but I’m proud of myself for reaching this milestone.

Work wise, I had a lot of depressing moments when I was almost going to quit, but I decided to keep up and eventually the situation improved a bit; I can’t predict what’s going to happen in the future, but for now I’ll just go with the flow and see what happens.

I had a lot of plans for this blog at the start of January, but somehow I ended up losing my motivation and going on hiatus; I basically disappeared from social media for months.

That was completely unexpected to me too, it wasn’t planned, but at some point I felt like it was the best option: all the feelings I piled up for a couple years exploded in my mind and gave me no other choice.

At the same time, I started listening to kpop as I used to 10 years ago and I fell in love with new groups, so my interest shifted from otome games to kpop quickly.

Don’t get me wrong: I didn’t stop playing games because of kpop.

I was dragging the new releases already, I wasn’t very interested and I didn’t feel motivated while blogging anymore, so I naturally searched for something different that could light a sparkle of life in me; it happened to be kpop, so I just followed my heart and went with it.

I don’t know how long my otoge hiatus will last, nor my interest in kpop, but I’ll still try to keep my blog alive, until there’s at least one person who enjoys reading my opinions.

This is the 1st time since like 2019 that I don’t have a blog schedule or at least a mid-time plan, which makes me feel a bit weird and worried (I’m obsessed with planning, my MBTI is INTJ), but at the same time relieved: I want to change my attitude, being more spontaneous and less robotic.

Will this be a success or a failure, both for my life and this blog? Time will tell.

I hope some of you will come here from time to time and enjoy the ride with me.

See you soon!

New year, new start!

Hello everyone, are you enjoying the Christmas mood? Or are you a tired retail worker like me, who wonders if it’s actually possible to survive through Christmas hell?

As promised, I’ve spent the past few weeks thinking about my blog’s future, to decide if it should change or just stay on hiatus until my will of playing otome games eventually comes back.

I’ve considered many ideas and changed my mind a few times, but I came to a decision.

This place is focused on otome games, but it also contains my random life updates, since it’s been also some kind of diary for me; sharing my opinions and feelings in general is the reason why it was opened, it never meant to be some kind of objective, serious review site.

Everything here is about my taste and my personal opinions, regardless of the content.

So, why excluding kpop, if it’s what entertains me the most lately?

If I’d wait for my gaming mood to come back, this blog could be on hiatus for months, maybe even years or forever, since I can’t obviously predict when I’ll start playing daily as I used to.

So, here’s what I decided to do.

The blog’s name, header and main tags will stay exactly the same: if someone is looking for a review or a TOP10, they will have no problem in finding everything. This is my blog’s main purpose and it won’t change.

I’ll create a separate tag for my kpop posts; it will be used like the “personal stuff” tag, which already exists, for people who may be interested in my other hobbies or my life.

I still have some half written otome reviews and opinions, which I may decide to share if I think they can be useful.

For the new content I’d like to bring, I have many ideas, but little time as always; my main goal would be to write at least a couple posts every month, talking about my favorite kpop comebacks or debuts! There’s always a lot going on in the kpop world and I enjoy sharing my opinions, I could even come up with a weekly recap, but it depends on the free time I get next year.

Don’t expect something great, if you’re a long time reader of mine, you already know that my posts are not polished like I was some kind of expert: it’s just me blabbering, as if we were just friends chatting about our hobbies.

My plan starts with my personal kpop awards, then I’ll probably write about my favorite groups, songs, shows and my expectations for 2023. I’ll probably write about my 2022 too, as I always did in the past when a year is about to reach its end.

If somehow this could interest you, come here from time to time! Any comment or suggestion are highly appreciated: this blog is not only mine, I feel like it kinda belongs to my readers too.

Take care!

Life updates, blog concerns and maybe a new start

Hello everyone, how are you doing? I’m still alive and pretty fine, if some of you were concerned for my long absence, thank you and sorry for making you worry! I wonder how many of my long time readers still come here from time to time, to check if I posted a new review or TOP10. Are you still interested in my weird taste? If so, were you surprised by my random Suuran Digit review?

I know, it’s an old game, but it’s the last I completed this year and I realized I never shared my opinion about it, so I thought it could be still useful to someone who still enjoys PsVita games.

Months have passed since my last personal update, I guess it’s the perfect timing to have a talk for a bit, just to let you know what’s going on and why I disappeared for so long.

I’ll keep it short, no one is willing to hear my complaints: I still work too much, but since this awful summer the situation improved a little bit and I feel healthier. I still can’t rest properly, but I have at least a day off every week, which should be normal but apparently for my boss is some kind of priviledge. Anyway, it’s better now.

I haven’t played otome games for months, since June I think, because I was always too tired and I couldn’t fully focus, I preferred to watch funny stuff on youtube to make my mind at ease.

I even started listening to kpop again, as I used to like 10 years ago, which is something I honestly wasn’t expecting! But life is weird, I fell in love with a song I listened to randomly and here I am, deeply back in kpop hell like it’s still 2012.

I even thought about changing this blog to a kpop one, writing my opinions about comebacks, albums, variety shows and stuff like that, but I feel like I would “ruin” this place: it was created to share my opinions about otome games and I think it should stay like this, regardless if I’ll update it or not; part of me is scared it will die, so I’d like to keep it alive with my new hobbies, but if I mix up too much different content, the result will probably be terrible.

I don’t know, give me your opinion if you want, I’ll think about it.

I was even considering opening a different blog for my kpop content, but I don’t want to deal with crazy people in the fandom, I just want to keep it low and share my humble opinions, I don’t need unnecessary drama in my life.

At the end of the year, I usually share my otome games awards, but since I’ve played like 5 games in total, I guess it’s kinda meaningless; Lover Pretend was my favorite anyway, so if you are still wondering if it’s good, get it now!

I’d gladly share my personal kpop awards instead, but I don’t think there are many kpop fans among my readers; I even wonder if I still have readers, at this point I don’t even know if I should consider myself a blogger anymore. But maybe someone is interested in music in general, and you have more free time during holidays, so my advice could still make you curious to check out some songs… let’s see what happens, if I’m in the mood to write a post or not.

After like 5 months, today I woke up thinking about my blog and how much I used to love it, that’s why I posted my Suuran Digit review and I’m writing this, thinking that maybe it’s not over yet.

Any comment or suggestion may change it all, so feel free to contact me here or on social media, even if I’ve been inactive since July, I still check it out almost daily.

I don’t really know when I’ll come back again, or if I’ll ever come back at all; even if I do, at this point I don’t know what I’ll be writing about; but if you still want to come here from time to time, you’ll may find something unexpected!

Until then, be happy and stay healthy!

A life update!

Hello everyone! It’s been a few months since my last post, how are you? Are you enjoying summer?

In my April’s update I promised to be back around July, when my life would hopefully become a bit easier and I could resume playing otome games and sharing my reviews and TOP10; here I am, writing this post, even if the news I’m delivering today is far from good, sadly.

First of all, a quick update about my job, since this situation is one of the reasons why I needed a break from blogging and social media.

On March, my boss hired a new person, who was supposed to give me (and my poor co-workers) some decent freedom (the luxury of some free days and holidays, for example), but after a couple months this person realized how crazy this workplace is and resigned, quitting immediately.

Disappointed but not surprised, we’re still working too much for our health, hoping and waiting for a new co-worker who hopefully will stay with us longer; but I think we lost our hopes already, with their bad attitude my boss and my supervisor would scare everyone. Or make them ragequit, I’ve been tempted to do the same.

You’d probably understand why I’m rarely in the mood to write or play: when I finally get to relax a bit, I prefer to watch funny shows on youtube or listen to music, which helps me a lot; I can’t really focus on otome games, which I also play mostly in Japanese, since my brain refuses to concentrate on kanji.

I spent the last 2 months completely away from otome stuff, even twitter: I feel sorry since I’m not interacting with my friends as I used to, but I don’t want to bother other people with my problems and complains, I prefer to just stay silent.

I’m just recently going back a bit, playing slowly Bara ni kakusareshi verite, just to see if it’s good as many friends told me in the past; so far it’s great, but I can’t really promise there will be a review someday. Let’s see how my life goes.

This post is turning out way sadder than I imagined, I’m sorry! But I really wanted to update my long time readers, who were waiting for me to come back blogging, about my current situation.

Even if the premise is bad, I still think I want to keep this place alive, so I’m not here to say goodbye; actually, I have some half-written reviews and opinions about games I’ve played in the past which I plan to complete and share soon.

I know there are a lot of streamers now, blogs are outdated and no one will probably care, but if there’s still one person who is willing to read my opinions, then I’ll happily fulfill their wish.

Suuran Digit is the first review I’ll share, since I played it in April and I have a lot to say.

Even if you don’t see me around on twitter, if you’re interested come here from time to time, you may find some unexpected update.

Until the next time, stay healthy!

Happy Easter!!

Hello everyone! How are you?

It’s been more than a month since I announced my long hiatus and about 2 months since my last review, but here I am, still trying to keep my blog alive.

Sadly, I’m not here to say that I’ve decided to come back, but I wanted at least to wish you all an happy Easter, and update you a bit about my decisions.

When I announced I was quitting, I received a huge amount of sweet messages, which made me realize that those 5 years of efforts were still worth it after all: some of you even wrote that they started studying Japanese after discovering my blog, which honestly made me feel emotional and grateful. I was teary eyed and I wondered if quitting was a huge mistake.

But I knew I needed a break, to relax and to think carefully, mostly about my life but also about my blog and the direction I wanted it to take; I think I have an answer now, so I’m taking this chance, while I have some free time, to share my feelings with you.

First and most importantly: I won’t quit. When I wrote my goodbye post I had this intention and I really meant it, but I also knew how dear is this place to me and how much I love sharing my opinions with you, which made basically impossible to let it go completely.

Even if I tried to forget about it, my mind kept reminding me from time to time that I still have a lot to share and maybe some of you would be happy to read it.

But at the same time, I realized I’m not ready to fully come back yet: my situation at work is still a mess, even if the moving is basically over, which means at least I can relax when I’m home now.

I don’t want to announce that everything is back to normal, if there’s a chance I’ll need another hiatus like 2 months later because I’m too tired to keep up; to avoid this (or at least try, no one knows for sure where the future is leading us) I came up with some kind of goals I want to reach before coming back, just to be sure that the environment and the situation will allow me to be a decent blogger.

Most of these goals are personal (having decent work hours is one of them and maybe the most important), while a few others are related to social media and otome games; I’m slowly trying to reach them and I’ll tell you when I feel ready.

In the meantime, I hope you’re enjoying Easter with people you love, relaxing and having fun, maybe also playing otome games if you want.

See you in my next update, even if I honestly have no idea when it will be; but I’m pretty sure this won’t be my last post!

Thank you and happy new year!

Hello everyone!

This is my last post of 2021, so I want to take this chance to say goodbye with you to the past year and wish you all a bright future in the months to come.

Maybe you’ve noticed it, in December I did my best to be more active here and to entertain you a bit, since probably most of my readers are enjoying their Christmas holidays.

I still don’t know where the new year will take me, but it’s going to be busy, at least at first: I’m moving to my new house in February, which means the next few weeks are going to mess up my free time a lot. I’ll do my best to not disappear completely, but don’t be too worried if I don’t post for a while; I’ll eventually be back.

As every content creator who is doing this kind of stuff just for hobby, this year I changed my mind a lot of times, even considering seriously to close this blog or start a long hiatus; sometimes taking a break is important, even just for a month, to reflect on priorities.

While I didn’t update, even if I was almost relieved at first, I realized how much I missed sharing my opinions, even if it’s just about silly things or nostalgic thoughts.

I’m sure, if you’re a long time reader, that you’ll notice the mood behind some of my posts: even if I don’t show my face, through my words is obvious if I’m writing something because I really want to talk about it, or if I’m kinda forcing myself to just come up with a post to keep this blog alive.

I know what you’re thinking, now: “if you don’t want to do it, just slow down or quit”. And you’re right.

But sadly, I have that kind of personality, that makes me want to do everyhing at my best, always, or I’ll end up feeling guilty; there’s no way for me to write just random posts once in a while, I’m that kind of person who wants to come up with a schedule and update it regularly, or just close it up and erase it all, as if it never existed.

I don’t want the latter to happen, but I can’t keep up with the first option too, which makes me frustrated. But I’m not here to rant, I just want to be as honest as possible with you.

Even if sometimes I have this love/hate realationship with my blog, I won’t stop updating until I still have something to say, being it reviews or just random memories; and if you’ll still come here, reading my posts and finding them entertaining or at least interesting, thank you and welcome to my little family! I’ll do my best to give you a reason to come here, when you have some free time for me.

Lastly, but most importantly, I’d like to take a chance to thank all the people who encouraged me through the years, with sweet messages that made me think that my efforts, somehow, are still worthy; you know who you are. The comments you wrote on my blog, the private messages you sent me here and on twitter, I wrote them all in a little, yellow notebook, to be sure I won’t forget them; when I’m feeling down and I’m almost sure that no one cares about my opinions, I read those words and find motivation to keep up, for the people who believe I have something to say, which is worth their time. When I find someone bought me a coffee on ko-fi, I swear I’m even confused, since I don’t feel enough.

With my bad english, my weird taste, my random opinions, if you think I’m still an interesting person, thanks from the bottom of my heart.

I wish you all the best, you’re my treasure.

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