My life, my hobbies, my real self

Categoria: Personal stuff Page 1 of 6

First post of the year and it’s about Thai BL!

Hello everyone, how have you been? I haven’t updated for months, maybe someone was wondering if I decided to quit completely this blog, so I passed by just to tell you that I’m still alive!

Well, I guess I’m just talking to myself here, the golden days are far and gone.

Sometimes I feel like writing, but knowing that no one cares anymore, erases completely my motivation. I’m not surprised or disappointed anyway, when I changed the focus of this blog I was well aware that my readers would probably disappear and move to other creators who keep reviewing the new releases.

Lately, my main hobby is watching Thai BL drama.

I’ve always been a fan of the genre (you can call me a fujoshi I guess), but I only used to watch anime; I randomly found out that Thailand offers a huge amount of drama, with a great variety of plots, and I was completely hooked since the beginning.

My first drama was Only Friends and it was a shock, I couldn’t stop watching and I ended up completing it in one day. Yes, you got it right, I watched 12 episodes in 1 day.

Since then, I entered the black hole and I’m so into it now, I could name like 100 drama I enjoyed.

So yes, at the end of the year, my awards will probably be about Thai BL.

It would be really great, if someone here shares the same hobby as me, and if you would be interested in my recommendations, reviews or opinions.

But I guess I should start from zero, with another blog, instead of just talking to myself here.

Also, most of the people read reviews on MyDramaList already, there’s no need for a different place.

I know.

But I still want to try asking.

If there’s at least one person interested, it would be enough.

Ok, I’m done, now I can go back watching ViceVersa: this is actually a rewatch, but the first time I couldn’t get all the jokes and I appreciate it way more now!

Christmas mood is here already!

Hello everyone, how are you? Are you mentally preparing for Christmas?

In Italy every shop has a Christmas tree already, which souldn’t be surprise, but still it feels kinda early to me; shopping centers have amazing decorations, it looks like a completely different place and I can’t complain, it looks beautiful.

I honestly don’t care very much about Christmas, I probably stopped being excited when I started working and my holidays were not as long as in my school days, when I always stayed home for like 3 weeks; those were really days worth celebrating!

Until last year, while working in a retail store, December was hell for me: no time to rest, no days off, a huge crowd at every hour… what a nightmare!

This year is completely different since I’m unemployed, but I also don’t feel in the mood to meet my relatives who always repeat on loop the same questions; I guess you all imagine easily what I’m talking about.

When I was in college, they all asked me when I was going to graduate and get a job; when I moved with my boyfriend, everyone’s main concern seemed to be when I was going to get married; then, it evolved in the question I’ve always hated the most: “when are you having kids?”.

I don’t know if people are just genuinely curious, or if they enjoy putting pressure on younger relatives; just leave me alone and live your own life! We all have different timing and goals, they should worry about my well being, instead of making me anxious.

I’m sure many people understand pretty well, how annoying those family meetings are.

There’s still a whole month ahead, so let’s talk about something nicer.

Have you noticed, how my blog changed recently?

If you’re reading this on mobile it probably looks the same, but if you actually open my blog on PC or tablet, you’ll find it completely different.

In January, when I decided to give a new life to this blog, I was determined to leave the header and the main theme as it used to be, since most of the post here are about otome games; I can’t say it was a bad idea, but I wasn’t sure that it was going to work in the long term.

Honestly, I think at this point I needed something new, a breath of fresh air.

Of course, it doesn’t mean I erased old posts, it took me years to write that many and I’m still very proud of what I accomplished, but I don’t think it makes sense to keep its appearence as an otome blog either; there are plenty of otome games reviewers now, way better than me.

So, what’s the point of pretending nothing changed?

I want this blog to look more like myself. The “me” as she is now, not the “me” I used to be from 2013 to 2022. It doesn’t mean I’m a completely different person, obviously: if you talk to me on twitter, I’m still the same; but posting in an otome themed blog after spending almost 2 years without playing any single route, felt like some kind of a joke.

There’s no point in being too attached to the past, let’s embrace changes!

When I chose this new style, I was looking for something simple, which would give me a sense of inner peace: black and white, but also colorful flowers. Do you like it?

Don’t worry, if you are still here for my otome reviews, in the bottom right there’s still my review list, where you can find everything you’re looking for.

For everything else, like TOP10 or drama cd, there’s a tag search, you should be able easily to navigate though the blog anyway.

I understand how it gets a bit more difficult, for readers who always come here just for otome stuff, to find immediately what you are looking for; but it makes me feel better, as if I took a huge step towards accepting the new me and changing.

If you still will come here, thank you; if not, thank you for coming these past years, it truly meant a lot to me!

I’m late, but here’s some kind of blog’s anniversary post!

Hello everyone!

I’m almost embarrassed to write this post actually, for 2 reasons: the first is that last month I promised I would be more active here, but in the end I updated regularly for 2 weeks and then I almost disappeared again; I’m sorry!

But I swear, I wasn’t lazy. Sadly, my father has a serious illness and he was hospitalized for a week, so I went there every day to meet him and I did my best to lift up his mood a bit; now he’s home while he’s waiting to start treatment, so I spend a lot of my time at my parents’ house to keep them company since they can barely go outside.

I guess you understand, while I wasn’t in the mood to write.

But I can’t just spend my days thinking about sad stuff, I also try my best to be positive while distracting myself with my hobbies; that’s how I remembered about my blog anniversary, which I completely forgot about last year. What a pity! I guess my old job was really sucking the life out of me. And so it comes, the main reason while I’m kinda embarrassed of myself: I completely messed up the date!

I have no idea why I was sure I opened this blog on the 5th november 2016, but looking back at my old anniversary posts I realized it was actually on the 2nd… which means I missed it again, this year!

I probably should have checked it out sooner, but I had no doubts! I’m getting old guys, there’s no way I could have made such a mistake in the past.

Anyway, it’s been 7 years already, since I opened this blog to write about otome games: I still remember how it felt when I first started, it was such an exciting journey and I worked really hard to bring some content almost every day… I swear, I miss the old times and the otome community, even if I’m sure it changed a lot.

Since I’ve been unemployed, a little voice in my head has been telling me to get back to this hobby and play some more, at least to complete the games I was almost done with. Yes, I’m talking about Cendrillon Phalika. The good news, is that I actually made some progress, even if it’s very slow, so there’s still hope to see my review here. I can’t see myself going back to being an otome blogger, but you shouldn’t be too surprised, if some kind of review comes up sooner or later.

Even if the old days are not completely gone, I still decided to sell part of my collection: if I ever come back fully to this hobby, I’m sure I won’t replay some of the games which didn’t really leave a great impression on me, that’s why I’m more than willing to sell them to someone who will experience them for the first time and maybe enjoy them more than I did.

If you’re interested in something, you can find them on twitter and also in my previous post!

Lately this blog has mostly become some kind of diary, and I think it’s still better than just stop updating completely. Thanks to everyone who has been reading since the beginning, but also thank you to everyone who comes here from time to time to check if there are some kind of updates.

I can’t promise there will be new otome posts very soon, but I’ll do my best at least to write my usual end of the year personal posts: my 2023 recap, my plans for 2024 and probably my kpop awards.

Well, I guess trying to come up with a plan for the new year while I’m still unemployed and my father’s health makes me too worried to start looking for a new job, doesn’t seem like a good start. But we can still hope at least, right? Life has ups and downs, in the nearly future I’m sure I’ll be able to stand up again.

How I got into a car accident and what I’ve learned from this awful experience

Hello everyone!

Today I’d like to share a recent event that made me reflect a lot about life, since it was kinda traumatic: at the beginning of August, I got into a car accident.

This is actually the second time I experience this awful situation, but compared to the first time this was way worse: we were on a queue, since a car in front of us stopped abruptly to turn into a very little street on the left, which I assume it was the only way to their house; it was unexpected, so my husband and another car had to stop immediately.

Then another car from behind, without realizing what was going on, crashed into us at full speed, (somehow the driver didn’t realize we stopped for a reason, even if there were like 3 cars ahead of us; I assume he was on the phone, or at least he wasn’t paying much attention).

I heard like the sound of a bomb exploding behind my back; if this wasn’t enough, our car was pushed forward, crashing onto the car in front of ours.

It lasted just a few seconds, but I remembers thinking: “again?? I won’t survive this time”.

When it was over, I was scared to open my eyes and look next to me: what if my husband is covered in blood? What if he’s dead?”; these were the thoughts running in my head, as I heard people from the other cars saying stuff like “I can’t get them out of the car, call the ambulance!”.

Gladly, my husband got minor injuries and I was just bruised; but when I got out the car and took a look at it, I realized that we were really lucky, to be able to stand on our legs.

Gladly everyone involved was safe, but our car was completely crashed; when the ambulance came, they found it hard to believe we only got minor injuries, considering how destroyed it was.

We have to buy a new one, since it would more expensive to repair it.

That made me realize something that should be obvious, but I never thought about enough: life could change or even end at any moment; we spend most of our life planning a future that maybe will never come, instead of living the present.

Of course, it’s important to have long-term plans, life goals; but what if your life will end tomorrow, and you just spent your last days working and saving money because you’ll need them when you get old? What if you never reach that age?

When I was working really hard, I remember some of my coworkers telling me they wanted to quit too, but they were afraid of not finding a new job immediately, because “when I’ll get old I will relax, now I need to make money”. True, but… what if you don’t even reach the retirement age?

Of course, I’m not here to say you should live carelessly, as if the world is going to end tomorrow; but still, try to think about it. We don’t realize how precious our time is, until it’s too late.

If your life ends today, are you satisfied with what you accomplished so far?

But most importantly, are you happy?

That’s my cup of tea for today, see you with hopefully funny topics very soon!

Struggling with Korean

Dear friends who are trying to learn a language, how is it going?

Are you excited like you should be, or are you frustrated like me?

I’m joking, I love studying Korean and I’d never get angry over an hobby, but still I’m sure sooner or later you’ve felt the same way. It’s so annoying, when you put daily efforts into something, yet it feels like you aren’t making any progress… it makes you wonder why you are even trying so hard in the first place, since basically every youtube shows is subbed already.

Back in the old times, when otome games got little to none localisations, I had no other choice but learning Japanese, if I wanted to enjoy my hobby to the fullest.

But gladly, Korean companies knows perfectly that the foreign market brings a lot of money, so every show comes out directly with English subs, as soon as it’s released on the official channel of the group; it feels like another world, compared to the old times when I used to listen to Japanese music and watching their music videos on youtube was impossible.

I still don’t get why sharing their work to potential foreign customers could damage in some way a Japanese idol, but that’s a mystery we’ll never solve.

Anyway, I’m done with my 2nd Korean grammar book, which means (as the book’s author states) that I completed all the basics all the language.

How come, I feel like I barely understand some words here and there, when I listen to music or watch reality shows? I guess I lack vocabulary?

Also, I feel like my textbook focuses too much on standard level Korean, basically ignoring the most common words used in informal contexts, like between friends; that’s why I completely lack that kind of knowledge, which is honestly what I mostly want to reach.

As I did a decade ago while studying Japanese, I set a very specific goal to my learning process: I’d like to watch shows without relying completely on subs, being able to grasp their jokes; I’d like to understand songs without having to search for the lyrics, that would be cool; I’d like to sing along without my words sounding like some kind of gibberish.

I guess I’ll try to improve my listening skills a bit, watching youtube videos for beginners, before I start the 3rd grammar book (which I hope will focus more on informal language, finally!).

Anyway, to anyone who is struggling like me, keep it up! We’ll get it there!!

Just enjoying freedom

I’m back everyone!

Well, not as an otome blogger (for now), but at least I’m here writing after a couple months.

A lot of stuff happened in my life recently: the most important event, is that I decided to quit my awful job, which honestly has been ruining my mental health for 4 years.

Now I’m trying to recover before I make a new start somewhere else, since I don’t feel ready to find a new workplace yet; I don’t want to push myself too hard, I swear I was almost having a burnout not too long ago. If you’ve known me for a long time, you probably get how hard it was for me.

Recently I’ve been enjoying a few new hobbies: reading and bullet journaling have always been some of my favorites, but now I’m also studying Korean hard.

I guess you already know how much I love learning languages, I even tried Finnish and German years ago and I’ve always wanted to learn as many as possible if I had enough time.

Well, now I’m free, so Korean was my first choice!

I’m almost done with my second grammar book, which should be enough to give me at least the basics; I’m obviously very, VERY far from being decent, it’s a long process which makes me excited every day. What are you up too, lately?

I’ve seen the new otome games which were shown at the last Otopa and I admit some of them got my interest… maybe I’m almost ready to get back to gaming? I’m not sure, I change my mind easily, but since I finally have free time there’s no excuse.

Actually, I don’t know if someone remembers that I’m still stuck on the last Cendrillon Phalika’s route; it’s been more than a year.

I’m kinda moody lately, I wasn’t used to have time for myself since that job sucked all my energy and will to live everyday; this freedom is such a blessing!

Now, I wake up everyday with new ideas and goals; I may even get back to blogging regularly, even if I still won’t post about otome stuff for a while, probably.

If I write about my life, my hobbies and my progress with learning Korean, will someone be interested? I don’t think so, but if I’m in good mood and share my feelings, maybe it will be enjoyable for someone anyway. What if I set at least 3 posts every week as a goal? I used to do even better in the past, it’s not impossible at all. I hope someone will give me any kind of feedback, since it kinda feels new compared to the past.

I know I announced a new start like an year ago and then I disappeared almost completely, but this time I want to keep up for real and be more constant. Let’s see what I can do!

A nostalgic post, since I miss the old times

Hello everyone!

Well, I guess no one reads my blog anymore and I can’t blame you at all, since I haven’t kept my promise to update at least once a month; but if you are an old time reader and you are here by chance, thank you!

I’ve been on holiday for a week recently, so I had time to relax, have some fun and meet my friends who sometime think I disappeared from this world since my job completely takes over my life.

One conversation in particular reminded me how much of a terrible blogger I am, so it encouraged me to write at least a few lines: a friend introduced his new girlfriend and while we were talking about traveling, she was excited about a trip to Japan which is her dream.

And that’s how my friend started talking about my interest in Japan, anime and otome games; he even explained to her what the genre is and how I used to learn the language by myself, looking up for kanji on my dictionary, literally 10 years ago! I can’t believe my friend still remembers about those times, I guess my determination to break the language barrier kinda impressed him and it makes me really proud of my past self; actually, it also makes me sad, since I miss those times and sometimes I wonder what could have happened if I was still part of the community.

I was aware that I would have lost my otome friends if I suddenly stopped playing and blogging, but I was tired to force myself to enjoy an hobby I wasn’t loving so much anymore.

Still, it breaks my heart when I check twitter and my TL is empty; I guess many friends changed their hobbies too, or maybe they stopped using social media; I realized that there’s no turning back: if I ever come back to otome, I should pretty much start from zero, as I did when I went back to listening to kpop after years. It seems a totally different world.

One year is actually not that long, but it feels like a lifetime in a community, when everything changes rapidly; so well, I’m writing this post because I miss my twitter/blog friends, amazing people who gave me so much motivation to write and share my opinions through the years.

If you’re reading this, how are you? Are you still part of the otome community? Did it change so much, since I disappeared? I’m really wondering if it’s just a personal feeling, or it’s true.

Anyway, thank you all for the great memories, I still cherish every moment spent in this fandom!

Happy Easter!

Hello my friends, how are you doing? I hope you’re able to enjoy a break for a few days, you deserve it for sure!

I’m free for 3 days, which sounds like a miracle… I still can’t believe it, but I’m going to make the best out of it!

I have a couple exciting plans, some boring tasks (I was procrastinating) to do and for the rest I’ll just relax and enjoy freedom.

Lately I’m into kpop journaling, I’ve been watching tons of videos on youtube and it seemed fun, so I’m giving it a try; I’ve been into bullet journaling for years so it’s not much difference, but still it feels fresh and it’s making me in a good mood.

I hope you’ll be able to take your time and enjoy your hobbies too, for a few days at least.

Happy Easter!

A nostalgic post and important stuff before I officially start blogging about kpop

Merry Christmas everyone!
Are you spending today with people you love, or are you trapped among annoying relatives? I had dinner with my family yesterday, but finally I have 2 days only for myself, to relax and have fun with my hobbies. December has been a wild ride at work, I truly deserve some free time on my own!
Since I decided to give this blog a fresh start, I thought it would be nice talking about my experience with kpop, before I start sharing my personal favorites and my opinions.
I first started listening to kpop in 2010, when I was still a student: it’s been a long time ago, but somehow I don’t feel really different as a person, even if I’m a wife and a decent adult with a job now. Should I be happy or worried about it? I guess having a young mindset is not a bad thing.
The first song that got me into kpop was Super Junior’s Bonamana, I was literally obsessed and I still enjoy listening to it; Sorry Sorry was also amazing, there’s no wonder I became an ELF immediately.
I loved Big Bang, Shinee, TVXQ and 2PM too, they were my favorite groups and I used to talk about them for hours with my online friends (sadly, nobody knew about kpop where I lived); as soon as I got home from school, I turned on my PC to see updates and chat with other fans.
Back in the old times when forum still existed, I even used to write fanfics! It’s kinda embarrassing if I think about it now, but I enjoyed the fandom life a lot, so I have no regrets.
I mostly listened to boy groups, but if I loved 2ne1 too: when I’m the Best was released, I went crazy! Such an amazing song.
My deepest memories come from EXO members’ teasers, which where released daily before their official debut: I had no internet on my smartphone back in the stone age, so I used to sneak into the school PC room just to see which member was showed, I couldn’t wait till I came home in the evening. I was so hyped, I don’t even know how I managed to study and get good grades.
Kpop wasn’t popular back then, so almost no groups came to Europe (now they do often, but apparently still no one cares about Italy), so when VIXX announced a showcase in Milan I was the happiest person ever!! I took the chance to meet in person some of my online friends, which made that event an unforgettable memory.
I wish I could have stayed a student forever, but life got really busy when I started working and I slowly faded away from kpop: in the meanwhile, I discovered otome games and they eventually became my main hobby, which I dedicated most of my free time to.
But I never stopped keeping up with the most important news, as time went by.
When Luhan left EXO, I felt betrayed: he was my favorite member and my 2nd ultimate bias in kpop in general, seeing him leave the group hurt. A lot. I felt like everything about him and kpop was a huge lie and I couldn’t trust idols for a long time.
In 2017, I still remember the shock I felt when I read about Shinee’s Jonghyun’s death: I felt my heart breaking into pieces and I almost cried at work, I had to take a break for a few minutes to recover; after 7 years since I first listened to his voice, I felt like I lost a friend.
So, why did I stop being so involved with the fandom?
The reason is simple: I’m too old and tired to be involved in fanwars.
Even back in the days, most of the fans seemed younger than me (it’s even worse now, obviously) and I didn’t wan’t to spend my free time arguing with teens about who deserves to win on a music show; their level of energy is different from mine, they get upset over everything and I don’t need teen drama in my busy life.
I want kpop to be a peaceful oasis, an hobby that brings me joy and distraction from my daily routine, I don’t want to take it seriously, having to worry about any words I say. That’s why I’m not active in any fandom now, not even on twitter.
I was actually kinda worried about writing my opinions here, but I trust my readers and I’m sure no one will get offended if I don’t like a group or a song: this is just my personal taste after all.
You know I always try to be respectful, if I don’t enjoy something I never say “it sucks”, I just avoid talking about it or I’ll simply say it’s not for me. I’m going to talk about kpop exactly like I did with otome games: if you don’t see me writing about a group or a comeback, it’s probably because I’m not interested. There’s no need to feel offended, I’m just a person sharing her humble personal opinion, having a blog doesn’t make me some kind of influencer.
I felt this was very important to say before I share my kpop awards, since I’m sure everyone will notice immediately the complete lack of girl groups: I like BlackPink, I sometimes enjoy listening to a few popular songs, but I’m not a fan of any girl group. So please, don’t keep asking me why I never talk about them, it’s simply not my taste.

Well, I think I’ve said enough for now; I have plenty of time to come up with nostalgic posts about the past, you know I love sharing those feelings. See you before the year ends with my kpop awards and my 2022 recap! Until then, have a nice Christmas!

New year, new start!

Hello everyone, are you enjoying the Christmas mood? Or are you a tired retail worker like me, who wonders if it’s actually possible to survive through Christmas hell?

As promised, I’ve spent the past few weeks thinking about my blog’s future, to decide if it should change or just stay on hiatus until my will of playing otome games eventually comes back.

I’ve considered many ideas and changed my mind a few times, but I came to a decision.

This place is focused on otome games, but it also contains my random life updates, since it’s been also some kind of diary for me; sharing my opinions and feelings in general is the reason why it was opened, it never meant to be some kind of objective, serious review site.

Everything here is about my taste and my personal opinions, regardless of the content.

So, why excluding kpop, if it’s what entertains me the most lately?

If I’d wait for my gaming mood to come back, this blog could be on hiatus for months, maybe even years or forever, since I can’t obviously predict when I’ll start playing daily as I used to.

So, here’s what I decided to do.

The blog’s name, header and main tags will stay exactly the same: if someone is looking for a review or a TOP10, they will have no problem in finding everything. This is my blog’s main purpose and it won’t change.

I’ll create a separate tag for my kpop posts; it will be used like the “personal stuff” tag, which already exists, for people who may be interested in my other hobbies or my life.

I still have some half written otome reviews and opinions, which I may decide to share if I think they can be useful.

For the new content I’d like to bring, I have many ideas, but little time as always; my main goal would be to write at least a couple posts every month, talking about my favorite kpop comebacks or debuts! There’s always a lot going on in the kpop world and I enjoy sharing my opinions, I could even come up with a weekly recap, but it depends on the free time I get next year.

Don’t expect something great, if you’re a long time reader of mine, you already know that my posts are not polished like I was some kind of expert: it’s just me blabbering, as if we were just friends chatting about our hobbies.

My plan starts with my personal kpop awards, then I’ll probably write about my favorite groups, songs, shows and my expectations for 2023. I’ll probably write about my 2022 too, as I always did in the past when a year is about to reach its end.

If somehow this could interest you, come here from time to time! Any comment or suggestion are highly appreciated: this blog is not only mine, I feel like it kinda belongs to my readers too.

Take care!

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