Hello everyone, how are you?
I’m keeping my promise to update more often and I admit I’m kinda proud of myself, it reminds me of the good old times when I used to be an active member of the otome community.
Now everything’s changed, but that’s life, isn’t it? I’m still the same person, so maybe some of you will stick with me anyway.
I was watching the 10th anniversary video of a youtuber I’ve been following for years, and while he was talking about all the ups and downs of his career as “influencer”, I realized some of his words hit me hard, even if I was writing my reviews for passion, not as a real job; he said that his favorite hobby at some point became a chore and he was in “anime burnout”, after forcing himself to watch and review every single anime coming out every season. At some point, he decided to switch the content of his channel, even if he feared that no one of his suscribers would keep up with the change; luckily for him, he’s still really popular despite brining a different content.
Even if I can’t say I used to be some kind of “influencer”, still his experience resonated with me and it gave me a little bit of hope, that someone will be happy if I’m still here.
Anyway, it’s been really hot in Italy lately, even if it’s supposed to be almost autumn already… I guess this awful summer doesn’t want to end. Actually, maybe I shouldn’t hate it, even if everything that happened a couple months ago at work was crazy. I’m glad I quit, I don’t have regrets.
The best thing I got from that job is one of my ex coworker, who became my friend and once a week comes to my house, to fangirl over kpop groups with me. Those nights spent fangirling over idols, screaming like crazy teenagers and singing along, truly make me happy.
It’s been a long time since I’ve felt so free to be myself in front of someone who is not my husband; I can’t be completely honest even with my parents, since they would probably give me the weird look. Am I immature? Yes, for sure, I know.
A friendship is always a blessing, but even more for me, since I’m a really introverted person and I find it hard to meet new people and make friends.
If you’re like me, keep in mind that there’s always someone willing to become your friend, if you just try to open up; she’s very extroverted, unlike me, so I just had to win over my fear of being myself among people, for having her naturally trying to click with me. It took me like 3 years, since I hate showing my true self to others (maybe in fear of being hurt? Or judged? I don’t get why I’m like this), but I’m glad I made a move.
I just wanted to share my feelings today, I hope you enjoy this kind of content too!