Hello everyone! ^^
Have you enjoyed the first post of this series? Do you think it would be interesting, if I’d keep sharing my thoughts and opinions with you?
Since there are many topics I want to talk about, here I am again!
This time, I’d like to share my personal experience about gaming as a person who is not so young anymore; I’m 33 years old, if you are new here.
First of all, my parents.
I don’t live with them anymore, I moved out 5 years ago; I wish I could do it even before!
My life was hell: whenever I turned on a game, my mum was constantly telling me to “stop wasting my life” in front of a screen. One day, she even said: “you are so young and beautiful, why are you here alone in your room??”. Keep in mind, at that time I had a boyfriend, a job and a fulfilling life; yet, spending some time with games made her “sad”.
My father never cared, I guess to him I looked like some kind of disgrace.
Since I moved out, and she can’t see me playing, our relationship got better: she knows I still do it, but she avoids the topic and that’s good. I guess she’s still secretly waiting for me to “grow up”.
Now, let’s talk about my workplace.
At my previous job, being serious to obtain trust from customers was really important, so there’s no way I could seem “childish”. A couple of my coworkers knew I loved Japan, because I went on trips there, but they didn’t care about it. There was no way I could be myself.
At my current job, people are more friendly: one of my coworkers plays games (Call of Duty, stuff like that), and she knows I enjoy japanese games too. I even told her that I write reviews on my blog; she was really interested and she wanted to follow me on social media, but……… I know it was mean from me, but I told her that I want to keep real life and hobbies separated.
This brings us to social media.
None of the people I know in real life follows me there and there’s an important reason: I want to be free, completely myself, without caring.
If I want to complain about my boss, or about my job, here on my blog or on twitter, I want to be completely free. I don’t want to be judged.
I don’t want to feel trapped even here. This is my space. For me and for everyone who shares my love for otome games. This is 100% me.
My friends in real life only know that I love Japan and play games, but they don’t ask me more than that. A couple years ago, I was talking to my best friend who loves reading as I do; I was trying to explain that some otome games had deeper plots than “classic” books which are famous all over the world. He didn’t believe me. I live in Italy, for us literature is serious stuff, we are proud of it; but I swear, for me Black Wolves Saga (just the first example that comes to my mind) had a huge impact, even more than famous books. Those characters, that backstory, the tragedy… it was great.
But obviously, if I had to tell it to any kind of literature teacher, they would assume I’m just ignorant. That’s why I always avoid the topic.
Now, you probably understand why I love writing here so much: this is the only place where I can voice my opinions without restrictions; this is the reason why, despite my busy life, I always find some time to update.
Now, it’s up to you!
Do you talk freely with people around you about otome games? How do they react?
At work, at school, with your family… do they support you? Or maybe they just don’t care?
I guess talking about it with people in real life must be very fulfilling… but for now, I’ll just enjoy my “long distance frienships”, with all the amazing people I met in this fandom.
Thanks for reading, I’d be really happy if you want to share your story.
See you soon!
Esse
Otome games have somewhat of a desperate reputation, for everyone who has never tried one. Or so have I experienced from my admittedly limited interaction with other gamers/ enthusiasts. There’s probably a link with misogynism too, no deeper analysis needed to understand that. 🙁
I personally don’t talk about otome games, even with people who are close to me. They don’t really understand why I like these games, and the time spent explaining could be used playing instead lol. I only ever bother for those who have similar interests, of anime and K-pop and the like. They seem to have had similar experiences, and sympathise deeper ^^
My parents were visibly disappointed when I got into anime and BTS (at the age of 12), so talking about otoge is out of the question. My friends like that it makes me happy, but it’s still hard to talk of them without having the fear that they’ll think I’m desperate for a relationship. I do love them, but I don’t know if they’ll really ever understand.
I totally agree with your decision to not tell your co-worker about your social media. It’s very liberating to have one’s own space, and even if they had good intentions, I would have done the same. I hope you keep writing here, Kyu! I love reading your blog 🙂
I still remember the time I was messaging someone and I said that I played otoge and they blocked me as soon as they looked it up on Google ;;
otomeland
Hello and thanks for sharing your experience! ^^
It’s really sad, that people consider us desperate instead of accepting otome games just as an hobby like any other; otome games have changed a lot through the years, they aren’t basic “dating sims” anymore! but no matter how good or deep is the plot, people will always think we’re just dating 2D boys.
Blocking you was really mean and it didn’t make sense!!
I hope you’re enjoying this type of different posts too, I think it’s cool if we could know each other better through these struggles!
I think I’ll keep up with these series for a while, I have a few related topics I’d like to talk about, before writing my usual TOP10 again!
Lucie
Hey !
I really enjoy your blog and I wanted to give you my experience on the matter, because it is really different from yours. Seems like it’s the opposite … ?
I’m not a huge Otome games player (I started in the beginning of my University) but I started playing video games when I was around seven years old. My mom gifted me a nintendo gamecube for Christmas because I was always talking about the video games I was playing at my friend’s place. She always liked watching me playing games. But I had no friends and that made her really sad, however she never blamed it on video games and when I started making some (in university aha) it was something we had in common, so for her it has always been a hobbie like any other.
As I said, I started making friends only in late University. At that time almost every one of my friends was studying litterature just like me. I happend to learn that one of them was fond of “pink litterature” (I don’t know how you call it in english). She has so many books from like Barbara Cartland, Johanna Lindsey and so many more. At first I was the one being judgemental and then I realised I was pretty dumb. She was not ashamed about talking about her favorite love stories, she even defended this kind of litterature when we were talking about litterature in general.
I never … just thought about talking about otome games with my friends. I borrowed some books of hers and enjoyed some of them, and I just started playing more Otome games more because I enjoyed it. None of my friends are playing or even liking this kind of games, and sometimes they laught when I talk about having my romance with the famous “Jean d’Arc”, vampire with an eyepatch, a white tiger and a rapier, but we are laughing together because we all love some ridiculously absurd or cliche things from our romances, they are just on different medias, in no case they are laughing at me or despising me for playing or liking it.
Recently we even spent an entire sunday with a friend of mine (different from the first one, our number is growing aha) and my boyfriend watching all the ‘to all the boys I’ve loved before” movies, The Princess Switch and others. Not that much my cup of tea (the movies I mean) but my friend loved them and I was just such a cozy day pointing out all the silly stuff and talking about our favorite romances, her from her favorite movies and me from my favorite games. And my boyfriend just endured it like a champ aha.
Currently I’m unemployed and use this “free” time writting my own otome game (aha, how far it goes) and my boyfriend I so supportive, he reads everything and makes constructive comments about the scenes, the writting, and encourage me. He is really motivated to make and work with me on the app (he is a programmer).
Even if I totally agree with the shame of liking this king of games and the mysogynism behind it, I think it doesn’t have to stay hidden. Like, my friend (the one who loves romantic novels) showed me that you could openly like something other people have stupid ideas about. And even if some people, even in our friends group, think it’s stupid, too girly or uninteresting, you just don’t have to care.
Misogynism makes every “girly” activity futile, stupid or unworthy of interest (and let’s not talk about “girly activities” when perform by guys) and I think the current feminism is way too often a disguised form or misogynism, like women are supposed to protest and go agaisnt stereotypes, I could they admit they enjoy romance, especially romance revolving around a non-progressive protagonist ? So since nobody seems ok to stand up for romantic stories designed for women in general, and Otome games in particular (they are for desperate girls, weebs, etc) we have to do it ourselves.
I think your blod is doing a lot in that regard, and I have felt so much better about myself when I found bloggers just like yourself, because sometimes I feel like nobody really enjoys the same romances as me, and hopefully, internet connects us.
So don’t be ashamed about sharing your passion with your friends, and even if they don’t understand it or make mean comments, you don’t have to close up about it. Just like you do not enjoy some of their hobbies but you listen to them talking about them, talk regulary, even not for a long time, about yours, and maybe you will discover you share this interest with somebody else who was hiding it just like you. At least that would me my advice, but I have been lucky, and I totally understand your fear of rejection, especially regarding your past experiences. However I hope some of your friends are good ones !
I hadn’t come on your blog for a while and I’m pretty sad to read this post, I hope you’ll find people irl with whom you can share your interest outside of the internet and be yourself with ♥
otomeland
Hello and thank you for sharing your experience! ^^
Please don’t be sad about this post, it wasn’t my intention, I was just curious to know how people deal with otome games and friends in real life! I’m used to have “weird” hobbies, my tastes in music and books are not what you could call “popular”, so sharing my feelings only on internet is normal for me.
This blog is like a therapy, it keeps me motivated and I hope I can brighten someone else’s life too, in the meanwhile!